dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
