well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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