my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
