I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize