But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
