when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
