I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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