I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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