Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
