walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
