so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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