so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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