what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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