She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
