Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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