Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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