God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
