We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
