I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I had to cum in my sink.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
