I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
