yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize