I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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