I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
