so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
