i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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