Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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