He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
