Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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