Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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