I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
