Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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