Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
