I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My pussy is not your playground.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
