If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It's never too late to be topless.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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