Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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