I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
