i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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