hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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