don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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