Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Alive.
So much puke
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Randomize
