The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
