She went from zero to smokin in five shots
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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