Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
