Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
