Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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