we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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