FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
