i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
