I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I want her autograph on my taint
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
