just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
