I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Enjoy the penises
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize