I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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