I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
