You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
