Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
