The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i black out too much to be "responsible"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
