I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
