just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
