At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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