I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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