Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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