Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
