check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
