I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
