elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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